My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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