Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
