I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
