Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
