This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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