she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
