So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
