...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
My vagina is very pro this idea
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
