So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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