I'm drive I can fine osifer
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
