there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
