Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
