I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
That accounts for only three of the penises
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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