he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
