i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
