he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
