You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
