Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
