one two three fourrrrnication!
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
