it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
