sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
