If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
