You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
