i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
