oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I could make wine with my vomit
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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