Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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