im about as happy as oj after his trial
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
My breasts were aching with rage.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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