Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
