why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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