if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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