Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Hello my rib-scented angel!
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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