I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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