Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
