You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I think i got beer on your cat.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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