i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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