4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize
