so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
