I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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