Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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