WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
