Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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