what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I wish they made helmets for livers.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
