I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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