So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
