my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
