im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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