Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
