you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So many bounce houses so little time
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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