I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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