you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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