just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
