I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
