How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
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